Another Stressful Day In the Life...

Oh, the emotion, or lack thereof, from this day.  I’m exhausted, so nothing that I feel is really valid.  As a matter of fact, I’m for all intense purposes, numb.  Just got out of the meeting with Mr. Speidel – and I truly believe him to be a nice man, but no one seems to understand that we don’t have the resources to do what they’re asking us to do – and that’s mainly because we have management that makes an appearance for about 5 minutes and then disappears for the rest of the time.  They don’t take care of problems that need to be addressed, and they won’t fire people who are wasting their time and money.

But what are you going to do?  Go against your boss?  I’ve already begged for help and I’m not being heard.  Only told that the man before me had more than I did to do and did it with more efficiency – and I know the man and I know what his responsibilities were, and he told me himself that this was not true, that he never had to do the stuff I’m having to do.  He was also able to tell them no, he could not do this or that – I don’t have the option to do that – and it’s because I’m a woman.  This organization is extremely sexist…you can see it in the salaries and the way they simply TREAT the women.

How long will I have to deal with that?  Every time I turn around, someone is underestimating me or treating me differently because I am a woman.  I never thought I’d say something like that, but it’s true.

I don’t know – I feel terribly defeated in my job today, and I’m not sure how to handle it or where to go from here.  I’m not necessarily depressed or upset – just tired and ready to get out of here.  And of course, looking for another job.  I love it here…I love what I do – when I have the proper amount of help.  But I don’t have it, and there’s too much demand.

And how many times more will I blog about this, you ask?  Who the heck knows?  It’s hard not to have a place to express this stuff – especially when I still haven’t gotten my journal back yet *grin*.

But here’s the praise report – if I’m not mistaken, our funding isn’t being cut.  Praise God.  But there’s a ton more work to be done that he says we need to fix *sigh*.  And Cheryl’s leaving??  Oh boy…