Rambling Thoughts for a Lazy Saturday...

I haven't done much today accept sleep. I woke up and read a chapter of a book Tammy gave me, did a day in the Bible study we're in on Monday nights, Fixed some spaghetti for lunch while I was doing some laundry, ate, prayed a little, and then went back to sleep. Don't know what came over me today, but I've been absolutely lazy for the most part. Oh, I was on the computer a bit...there's something so interesting about reading about the lives of other people you don't even know about...this blogging thing can get addictive.

I'm back to a frustrating place again - oh, and I haven't been sticking to my Dr. Phill stuff, either, so that starts back this weekend *grin*. I am GOING to lose this weight...anyway, that's not what really has me frustrated. I'm upset I guess because I let people walk all over me still. And I allow them to do it, foolishly thinking that they'll do something for me later on. Why have I gotten into this? It's ridiculous...but I should be thanking God for people like my friend, Beth. We've known each other since college and we hardly ever see each other, but we email each other faithfully everyday. Yesterday I asked her one of the most difficult favors a friend can ask, and she's actually CONSIDERING it with her husband. I don't care what they decide...it was just the fact that she was even willing to consider it.

And I realize what wonderful people God has placed in my life that I take for granted. So the people whom I work hardest to please still aren't pleased...big deal - I have friends who truly care about me and for me. Thank you God for caring enough to send me these friends even when I belly-ache over the ones who don't treat me as I think they should.

And I have so many of those faithful friends - Beth...Tammy...Holly - people who have weathered so many storms with me when I've cried or been angry and unreasonable. Please God, help me not to take these people for granted!

But it also wakes me up to what my heart is truly like. What happened to doing things for people without expecting anything in return? I will reap what I sow. If I will help someone else out when they need something, it will be done for me - not necessarily by that same person of course.

Okay, change of color. Just because I can. I thought about doing a different font, but everything is in Verdana for the most part on my site and I am afraid it will look too tacky if I suddenly put a huge paragraph in Trebuchet - but what the heck...why not do it just to annoy myself on my own blog, eh?

*shudder* I can't do it *grin* I can't continue to write in that...and I'm about to go back and change the other one...but I won't. Just so you guys will know what the heck I'm talking about when you read this thing. I'm very symmetrically minded visually...can't stand to see things that don't fit or aren't perfect squares and stuff like that...okay, too much info about the way my brain works :)...or rather not interesting enough.

People now know what my written journal looks like. If you were curious before, this is the exact same kind of stuff I write on paper. Random, rambling thoughts...the secret is revealed. However, I do get quite a bit more personal - but not all that much more. Yes, I'm rambling again *sigh*.

Well, I honestly need to go and get ready before our church meeting. We have a leadership meeting today and I need to at least smell nice...I'm not too concerned about the looking nice part *grin*. They can get over it...they see me dress up on Sundays all the time.

But i would like to say this. To anyone who reads this, I want you to know just how much I care about my friends - even though I may appear to take you for granted...I honestly don't. So many of you have stuck by me in times when I've been unbearable, and you did it because you loved me and understood that even though I may have looked and acted like a psycho, I really wasn't. Thanks...and I thank God for sending you to me.

Okay, I'm done with the sentimentality now...gonna go get ready and probably write more tonight :). Until then...