hello...my name is sarah...and i'm a recovering chick flick addict...

i must admit that over the course of the past 48 hours, i've watched two movies in which the plots and endings were so choppy and horrible, that i'm sure i could have done a better job. people spend too much time on the wrong things in movies and therefore do not develop plots in the way they should be done *grin*...

and who's making all the money?

seriously - "13 going on 30" and "the prince & me" - now you're wondering, "why on earth were you watching those in the first place?" i know - i souldn't be surprised, but after being obsessed with movies like "pride and prejudice" (a&e version) and lighter movies like "two weeks notice" *grin* i was hoping that maybe the chick flicks had improved.

i was wrong.

really, they weren't bad movies - they were actually pretty good...i just hated the way they both ended. it seemed like the director said, "i've got to spend all this time making this point in this movie and then all of the sudden BAM the end of the movie is here and i have to take the last five minutes to resolve everything in a slaphazard passion and seal it with a kiss - if the kiss is hot enough no one will notice."

which is why i shouldn't be watching these silly movies in the first place. i have a house full of chick flicks. some good, and some bad - but at least i didn't stoop so low as to buy "maid in manhattan" - wait, i *did* buy it...but only because of that cute guy who was english and trying to speak with an american accent. now THAT was weird. i ended up throwing it away though because i knew it was one of those that had to go because of the premarital sex. i think the only movie i've liked with jennifer lopez in it is "the wedding planner" - because of STEVE and MOSSIMO!! :) they were just too funny...

so the point? i'm not sure there is one except that i probably just tried to cover up pain i was having by watching a movie that basically wasted two hours of my life. there's so much to do in this house...so many things i need to throw away and clean - even my toilet is clogged with problems, for goodness sake - and yet, i'm watching a movie...i should have met holly in the burg and gotten something to eat.

speaking of which, i have set a goal and made up my mind (even though i can feel it trying to waffle in the back of my head) that i am going to lose 80 lbs by may 31st, 2005. that's a lot of weight, you may say - but i've gained a lot of wait because of the way i've been eating. i have no self control because when i'm upset, i eat. or shop. or just mess up my house even worse than it already is.

ella bella is supposed to be my accountability partner - it's odd to have someone who is 11 years younger than you fussing at you to stay on track. but she said she wanted to do it - so we'll see. but i don't want to wait anymore. i want the weight off.

now if i can just learn to throw things away :) - that's a biggie. packrat's 'R us - not even sure why i keep most of the stuff i do. it doesn't do me any good and i'm so busy i can guarantee that i haven't used it in probably over a year. the fact that my house has remained so cluttered and dormant for the past, oh, YEAR should say something about the stuff i have. and then the clothing? yeah...need to get rid of a bunch of that stuff too. and it will happen this weekend. gonna chuck this stuff...reduce half of my closet - throw away a ton of junk i don't really need. i could have a yardsale, but that would mean finding a weekend to get it done on top of holding the stuff SOMEWHERE until i can sell it. no. not a good idea.

but i've got to get rid of this stuff. i have enough for a whole family - and it's just me up in here, you know? so how do you decided what you need and what you don't?

right...good luck! except i still don't believe in luck :).

so it will take the power of the Holy Spirit to help on this one. what it always should have been. and as the end of this day closes, i'm still seeing just how messed up i truly am. it's going to take a miracle for Jesus to do anything with me. but i think that's the point. i go back to an anology i heard once - i may be a cracked pot, but the more cracked i am, the more light that shines through when a candle is put down in the middle.

i don't know - it truly is time for bed. i'm tired, it smells funny here in this room, and i just need to sleep. tomorrow is a new day, and i truly believe the Lord is going to continue and finish the good work He started in me.

this may be the most boring blog you've ever read, but at least it's honest.

goodnight y'all...