Year of the Blog

Hmmm...methinks this may be the year of the blog. If you noticed, my posts have dropped off in the past year. I have a feeling that I may just be writing quite a bit more on here. I'm not sure what the appeal is for writing on here. I know it's not necessarily wise to tell the world your thoughts - and I try not to bring anyone else into it, but it's kinda hard not to. We're humans and we interact on a daily basis - it's almost impossible not to talk about those that you interact with. I blasted someone once for blasting me over a blog ... I try not to do that kind of thing so I'm not being hypocritical, but the truth of the matter is, I've done it to. Not specifically to get at someone, but because I needed a place to vent...and hoping that maybe some strange person who doesn't know me out there would relate to the anonymous situation. But I'm not so anonymous - especially when I've gone through identity theft from my wallet being stolen in 2001. You think I'd be more careful.

Will I really ever stop caring what people think about me? The things that family and friends secretly say behind my back? When it comes down to it, isn't it my life and not theirs? They can say and think all they want, but they're not in my body, with my makeup, with my struggles, with my desires, with my thoughts - in the end they may just do the same thing. I know they're trying to help me sometimes, but it seems that there are those who get mad because I don't take their advice. This whole transition of living as me and not to please others is hard. People think I'm hardheaded and do whatever I want - if they only KNEW. But they wouldn't listen anyway - they see what they want to see.

I don't know where that really came from - thinking about past incidents I guess...nothing has happened and no one has really said anything to me about anything. I'm just thinking that way and how it all has shaped my behavior and my life recently. Or maybe it's just my own guilty conscience. I've gotta go to bed.

Because, "Billie Jean is not my lover...she's just a girl that claims that I am the one...but the kid is not my son..."

hee heee heee - wooo - heee heee heee - woooo