Yes, blogging again – mostly because that stupid sadness comes again when looking at my friends from college who have life going well for them – money all right, owning a house, married with a kid or two. And where am I? Stuck in college with girls who are the age of people I used to teach. Does that make me better than them? No, not at all…but I feel like a freak. 28 – not married – unable to buy a house – in a job that doesn’t really have anything to do with what I went to school for.
Am I complaining a lot lately?
I’m beginning to sound like one of those pathetic women – always moaning and being depressed because they’re not in a relationship. And I’m not like that – I very rarely tell anyone that I want to be married…don’t even look for guys, really. Too afraid to…but there’s still that sadness of not having someone to love…I sound pathetic – but this is a place where I can discuss this stuff that I can’t to anyone else. For some reason, it’s much easier to formulate my thoughts when I write them down. Speaking them is a whole other monster.
Not sure what I’m going to wear tonight – have to leave in a bit to eat with prof…don’t know what is going to come out of it, but hopefully something that will make me feel more comfortable about what’s going to happen in my future. I still need to sign up for the GRE…mom is going to help me by paying for the test. It’s like $110 bucks or something ridiculous like that.
You know the crazy thing is, salvo wasn’t too bad today. The problems were still there and nothing changed, but I was in a good mood and just laughed everything off…mostly because I don’t think there was a point to do anything else *shrug*.
Okay, better decide what to wear tonight…
More later when I get back :D
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