Meetings upon Meetings :(

YES!  Blogging again by the Word attachment…not sure why I like this so much…I just do.  I’m one of those geeks that always enjoyed (and still do enjoy) getting school supplies.

Anyway, today was one loooong meeting with a bunch of stuff that made me laugh – mainly because it wasn’t true or was just plain ridiculous.  I’m shocked at how people can willingly blind themselves to the truth.  Listening to the stuff they come up with for excuses for things and then their unique ability to pawn off their responsibilities and fault to someone else really does amuse me now.  Today I take it in amusement, anyway – hit me on a bad day and I may go out back and scarf down a case of Mt. Dew and a couple of bags of chips – that’s my crutch in stressful times I have found.  And here I go again with my psychobabble.

And in the matter of two hours, the whole month of September pretty much filled up with various meetings – DC – Richmond – Roanoke – I’m going to be all over the place next month.  I might as well say this month because Thursday is September.  And pay day, I might add.  PRAISE THE LORD.

Yes, I’m still horrible with money – and that’s all I’ll say about that right now.

You know, I just don’t care anymore.  I find that I want to simply confess everything to everyone – let them see my blame faults and let them see how realistic I am.  I’m sure many would look down on me – but what is THEIR crutch?  What is THEIR naughty secret they don’t want anyone to know?  Everyone has something…and I’m sick of hiding this crap.  I suck at managing money.  I operate my bank account in the negative a lot of time.  Is it because I’m stupid?  No, I know better than to spend money I don’t have.  Then how does it happen?  It’s because I’m so blame busy that I don’t sit down to balance my checkbook or pay my bills for that matter.  I’m sure my lights would be off if Jess wasn’t taking care of the house bills.

But I can organize a large meeting for 500 to 1,000 people without any problem.  I can manage choirs, churches, organizations, events – and still come out alive.  And is that my strength?  I’d be a nutcase to say that it was me – it’s God’s blessing on my life.

So why is my financial life and physical health in shambles?  Because I’m not perfect, and no one else is, either, dang it.  Something has to give somewhere, and unfortunately, it’s usually things pertaining to ME.  Does that make me selfless?  Possibly – I care more about others than myself a lot of times … but then again, I’m also afraid of displeasing people, so in the long run, I’m still pleasing myself.  Gosh, this circular thinking makes me sick.

OH MICHAEL BUBLÉ!!!  This man has a voice that makes me want to curl up around him and cling to him forever.  *sigh* Yes, I’m a romantic.  I’m listening to iTunes at work, and “That’s All” from his self-entitled album is playing…it’s beautiful.  It’s what every woman wants to hear from a man – it’s what I want to hear from someone who has chosen me above everyone else.  Do you know that I would do anything to please the person I fall in love with?  Because I know the person that God sends me will be someone I won’t have to worry about his decisions – He’ll be making them because He’s following God.  Where is he?  God only knows…I sure ain’t finding him around here *grin*.

What I want in a man?  Sounds like a long post for another time.

Holly and I will be eating at O’Charley’s with Prof and Alice Lee tonight.  I’m glad she’s going, because I’m a bit nervous to talk to him by myself – not sure why.  He can be pretty intimidating.  But I still respect the man immensely.  Oh and the GRE – gotta start preparing for that *sigh*.  WHEN WILL I HAVE TIME?

Who knows? I never sleep anyway…