That was a long nap...

Okay! It's been a bit since I've gotten the chance to post, but finally I'm sitting down long enough to do it. Today has been extremely hectic - I had to travel to Roanoke for a meeting and was planning on visiting and eating with a few friends/family, etc. But that was dashed when I had to rush back to Harrisonburg and take care of some things for this big event we're having Saturday adn the book bag stuffing we're having at work tomorrow. Yeehaw - TV station will be there and everything.

You should currently see my office...as a matter of fact, I'm going to post a picture of it later. It's covered in school supplies...as most who know me can figure, my office is a comlete wreck in the first place - adding about $8400 worth of school supplies in here does NOT help the decor.

Anyway, got back and ran around picking up the donated supplies and have spent the last 3 to 4 hours inventorying (is that a word??) everything to know what we've received. I will then have to set up all the supplies for tomorrow's packing day. But I can't until everyone from the other side of this job leaves or THEY'LL try to take the supplies. (There's a church and then there's a social services side to this place...I work for the social services side).

And as I type a mountain of book bags just slid to the floor. I hope those notebooks don't fall or I may not live to tell about it...it's currently taller than me :).

Next I'm going to talk about the struggle I went through today and learned from. This will be interesting. While I was in Roanoke, I had a slight emergency that needed to take care of. No one here where I work knows how to use a computer except for the limited knowledge that my assistant has. She was not in, she had a baby appointment. So, I didn't want to try and walk someone through it over the phone because I knew it would take forever. I asked a friend if they could do the task for me - no, they didn't have time but if I couldn't find anyone else, then they would do it.

I don't like to inconvenience anyone, so I said no, I'll find someone else. But inside I was frustrated, because I know my tendancy to drop everythign I'm doing to try and help this person. My pride started bullying up and I was getting upset because I would have done it for them.

But I KNEW this was wrong - this person usually tries to help me whenever they can and I was just looking for a reason to get upset - I have NO CLUE why. I prayed and cried out to God to help me with the emotions I was dealing with, because they were irrational. I told Satan to leave me alone and Voila! - I was later able to call this person back when they had called and asked if I had gotten the job done, and tell them YES, I got it done.

But here's the coolest thing. God knew this person would not be able to do what I had asked because it ended up taken a person who worked here with me to straighten out a problem that came up. Yes, it took me a whole hour to explain to someone how to get the document onto a disk and take it where it needed to be, BUT the problems that arose were easily solved WHILE I was still in Roanoke because my assistant came in and took care of the rest.

God is awesome in His workings, and my brain knows that, but my heart never wants to trust it. You see, immediately after I praised God for helping me with that situation, knowing that he wants me to rely on HIM and not on the people I ask for help, I began to think, "Well, God only cared about this person's time and that's the reason He worked it out the way He did. He knew it would take up all of this person's time with the problem and so He didn't let Him say yes." Isn't that awful? Satan is TRYING to keep me convinced that God doesn't love me and He won't take care of me. So I just have to keep fighting these thoughts and Satan. But it's NOT easy.

I am REEEAAALLLYYYY tired - so I'm going to go out and get some fresh air and then come back here and get everything ready for tomorrow. Please feel free to comment with your own experiences, because I'd LOVE to know I'm not the only one that struggles with being petty and imature at times :). If I AM the only one, then oh well...