Growing Pains

Growing up in America has been such a blessing, but it's also been a curse in a lot of ways. There are things going on right now in our church that are very serious - things that I've read about but never quite experienced myself. And I'm not even sure if I'm going to be able to explain everything I'm thinking and feeling now, either. But I have to try.

I have something literally burning inside of me - something that my flesh constantly wants to drown out. Be it with my over eating, my over spending, my laziness by doing things I want to do instead of doing what I know I should be and fulfilling my responsibilities, or whatever - the truth of the matter is, Satan wants my flesh to drown out the truth and the seriousness of the times we're living in.

You see, people are going to be confronted with the truth at some point in time. They will either accept it or reject it. There's no gray area, and there's no middle ground. Either you sell out completely and decide to do what God asks of us, or you continue to live the way you want to, to please and satisfy the flesh.

"Maybe I'll just watch this movie because I like it so much - it's only a little bad. Maybe I'll read this story or this book - it only has a little bit of trash in it. I'll listen to this CD because I like the way the music sounds and makes me feel - it only says a few disgusting things."

Truth says that if it doesn't please God, we must get rid of it!

When are we going to stop playing games and wake up? When are we going to realize that there's not much time left? Even if Jesus doesn't come in my life-time (which I pray he does), our lives or so short that we only have a little bit of time to get ready to meet our Savior. Have you read the Bible lately? Have you heard what Jesus requires of His servants? Complete and total obedience! There can be nothing less...either we're hot or cold...but he will spit the luke-warm out of his mouth.

And I am the worst - I have lived in a sneaky manner - thinking I can appease God by my obedience in all the areas that people can see and that count. But when it comes to that thing that I secretly really enjoy and don't want to get rid of? Why should I? I don't see immediate reasons to stop my disobedience. A bolt of lightening didn't come from the sky and zap me.

Don't we understand that that is God's MERCY? He wants to give us the chance to see our mistakes and let us turn around. AND I AM GUILTY OF TAKING IT FOR GRANTED IN THE WORST WAY! I have allowed myself to slip and slide to please my selfish desires - I have allowed myself to choose the sin that is in gray areas simply because I don't want to give up what I like. Because God didn't give me what I wanted or what I thought I deserved...THIS IS WRONG!

And I can't do it anymore. Everyone comes to a point in their life where they have to decide either they're going to choose everything that Jesus is - not only heaven and salvation and forgiveness of sins, but of holiness, humility, and obedience while here on earth, or I'm going to choose the ways of the world - please my flesh with no self-control, doing whatever I want whenever I want regardless of who it hurts and what I have to do to get it.

Will I be satisfied with this life and what it has to offer, or will I be satisfied with the most intimate of relationships that not only makes me into a more beautiful person, but it reaches out and touches everyone it comes in contact with?

It was never meant to be easy here! But God promised that it will be WORTH IT ALL IN THE END!! Don't you see what's at stake? Don't you understand what's coming? We don't have time to fool around! Jesus is calling us out today! You can lie to yourself all you want - you can argue away God by saying He would never create this kind of earth or allow this or that to happen to someone - you can argue away His justice by saying that He loves us and would never send us to a Hell - you can argue away his holiness by saying that Jesus understands and died so we could be forgiven of our sins and sin again and again and again and trample his precious blood - the pain he suffered to cleanse us. BUT IT WILL NEVER REMOVED THE TRUTH OF WHO HE IS AND THAT HE DOES EXIST! We all know it in our heart of hearts. Down deep where it really counts - we know He is there. We just argue you Him away because we don't want to be confronted with the fact that we are guilty. That we are wrong and have sinned against Him and everything He created us to be!

Please understand that time is running out! We only have so much time here on earth to make a difference in the people around us. And then when that is over, we will be held accountable for every thing we said and did - every unexplainable action that we were just "having fun" with when it did more harm than good to those around us.

Stop being mamby-pamby and make the decision! Decide to do what God asks today! Take the time to ask Him what He likes in your life and what He doesn't like. It's NOT ABOUT YOU! It's not about what you can get out of life while you're here.

And it won't be the easiest path - as a matter of fact, it will be the hardest one you've ever taken. You'll be made fun of, you'll be ridiculed, you'll be called a crack-pot and a crazy - but nothing compares to that relationship and perfect, unfailing love that I receive in return. Nothing will compare to being able to stand up and say, "The Lord has made me a person of dignity, respect, and integrity. He has brought worth into my life that I never had before Him." And no one can steal that. I don't care what you think about me. I don't care what you do to me. You'll eventually let me down and hurt me anyway - we're human - we all do this whether we want to or not. But Jesus never did and never will. He is ever faithful even when I am not.

In the end, the Lord will have His say, and you'll either be with Him or against Him. And I pray you're WITH Him. If you don't accept and believe that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins and to bring us back into relationship with Him, you have nothing to save you. You'll spend an eternity separated from the deepest, most sincerest love that has ever and ever will existed. You'll enter into the afterlife, and experience that perfect love, and then be snatched away from it for eternity...knowing that you could have had that but chose not to. Please don't make that choice! Choose life!

And I don't even pretend to say that I have this down. I am selfish, I am rude, I am everything that I don't want to be. But God sees me as who I will be, and He promised that He would finish the good work He started in me. You may not like what you see now, but the Lord promised to make me beautiful. And I'm going to hold on to that with everything I have...because I know what I am without Him. Nothing. Disgusting, gross, selfish, emotionally unstable. But with Him, I am everything. I am beautiful, loved, righteous, holy, worthy. But only with Him am I those things. Only because He loved me and marked me as His own.

Thank you Jesus - thank you for being so merciful to me even when I didn't deserve it. Thank you for saving me in times when I didn't want to be saved. Thank you for being so gracious to me, Lord. Please help me not to be luke-warm. Let me be quick to obey when you tell me something is wrong in my life and you want it to change. Let me be quick to humble myself before you. I love you Jesus - please help everyone reading this. Let it somehow soften their hearts to see you even more clearly!

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels (jars of clay), that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed - always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." II Corinthians 4:7-10