Well, once again, I spent an enourmously large amount of time on "Oblivion"...and I don't want to do that anymore. I totally wasted a day, and I don't like the feeling I get afterwards. But at the same time, it's fun to play *sigh*.
Anyway, this week needs to be focused on studying some things I've forgotten. I wonder if there are online theory reviews? I'm kind of going stir crazy because I've been in the same house, and the same chair, practically, all day long. Ever since I got back from church, anyway. And let's not talk about the fact that I skipped out early. With no good reason, other than I was so stir crazy I couldn't sit there any longer.
I've never had such a difficult time...
And the Doctor's appointment is going to come on Tuesday...and I have such mixed feelings about it. If it IS my thyroid, then that will explain the weight gain, the achy body, the general over all crappy feeling...but it also means medication for the rest of my life, and my body not working 100%. If it's not my thyroid, it means I'm still in good working order...but I've solely gained weight because of too many calories and lack of excercise...and it's not going to get better until I actually make major changes.
Nick is playing "Call of Duty 2," by the way. And the bottoms of my feet are ROUGH...I really would love to scrub them, but I can't find the bag that had the scrubber and special razors I bought. Now, THAT'S frustrating. I spent money on stuff and now I just can't find it.
Anyway, I was reading about cults on the Hank Hannegraff (sp??) website - and I realize that I myself have exhibited the behaviour of someone who was in a cult. Now don't get me wrong - I AM NOT CALLING MY CHURCH A CULT - the spirit of God is STILL in that place, and He is working mightily through the pastor and his family. But I myself have exhibited the signs of being in a cult earlier. I became obsessed and pretty much put everything else behind my work for the church. Didn't keep up with my friends, my family, my work, etc...and if I'm brutally honest with myself, it wasn't the church, it was a particular person in the church. And then when that reason was taken away, I still worked myself into the ground trying to prove something - still not sure what that was...I have my ideas, but I'm not going to share them here.
I don't like this feeling of being in between - no place to live that's truly MINE...and I'm getting pretty tired...I may go ahead and start snoozing while nick plays...
Well, I had a lot more to say, but my concentration is beginning to break up because I'm tired...I'll try to write more tomorrow.
Monday, June 12, 2006
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