Deja Vu

Welp, I'm busy packing today. I took a vacation day so I could make sure I'm ready for the big move tomorrow. I'm excited about the house, but it's kinda sad to be leaving this place again. I don't think it has really sunk in that I'm going to be moving yet again. This makes the 5th time since I've graduated college *grin*.

But this will be so much better for me. I can get my student loans paid down more, finally. It's such a pain to have to deal with debt >:p...

I've been jammin' to Toby Mac in the house all morning. Good thing no one is here, because i've had it CRANKED all day *grin*. The cats are having a heyday with all the high stacked boxes and empty nooks and crannies. They're going to LOVE this new house...hope they can handle Titan, Jess' dog :). That will be new for them...and possibly scary for Pepper. She's the one that's the skittish one.

I finally have sound on my computer again, thanks to Jarred, my Macgyver-like type friend *grin*. I told him where the blog was and not sure if he's read it, but it should be an interesting read for someone who doesn't know how my mind completely works. I've always thought I was a bit of an enigma to understand, but lately I find that that was just my wishful thinking *grin*.

But I have to admit - one of the reasons I started this blog was because I knew there would be people I knew finding it or going to it to read it. Not only people I didn't know, but people I did know, and I wanted it to be semi-journalish-like. Not the part where I rant and rave about people who get on my nerves *grin* just kidding of course - but just having the challenge that I would be the same person all the time. The person I am when I'm alone with God - THAT is the person I want to be with everyone else in the world.

It's easy for me to put on a mask and to laugh at things I don't think is funny. It's easy to hide back my opinion when it suits me and will help me be accepted by the people around me. And I don't believe, if people are truly honest, that I'm the only one that struggles with this. God set us apart - he made us different - and we're called to be different, regardless of the crap you receive for it.

And that's what I'm trying to be. Honest, open, and transparent. And I can only do that when I submit myself to the Lord and His will. When I'm in sin, I want to hide too much of myself so people can't see what is really going on. Even though I know they can becuase I've now been told that you can read my emotions on my face and in my eyes *grin*. So much for being an enigma...

*laugh*

Okay, back to packing...more later :)